Written by Lindsey Madla
“I cant do that. I cant wear those shoes, I cant take my shirt off in class, I cant get strong enough, I cant get my tricks back, I cant start over again. I cant do that.” The thieves of joy no matter what we do, and these were consistent thoughts throughout the past 7 years. Sometimes we really dont know ourselves as well as we think- because I CAN do that, and I am.
I had a 7 inch mass removed from my ovary, I’ve learned the hard way by injury when repeating a trick over and over again. I’ve learned to LET JOY LEAD when pole dancing, all else will follow. Comparison got me injured. Lack of body awareness, patience and lack of self value for current progress. So no better way to learn these things, then to start over after surgery.
It was then I fell in love with floor work and restored strength ground up! Today I teach low flow, tricks and yoga. I’ve performed twice with musicians like Snoop Dogg and have judged Exotic category at MNPC. I’ve lost over 50 pounds, I don’t know how many stretch marks I have anymore and I forget about the massive scar across my belly.
I wear the damn shoes and clack the sh*t out of them. I take my damn shirt off to grip better. None of this is possible without COMMUNITY and JOY. Im no champ and I’m not the definition of beauty, but I CAN do that. I am.